I remember watching a teacher kneel beside a six-month-old infant. She looked at him, asked if he wanted a bottle, and used sign language as she spoke. The infant looked back at her, and although he couldn’t say a word, the expression on his face seemed to say, “Yes.” It was such a simple interaction, one that could easily have gone unnoticed. But it has stayed with me ever since. What struck me wasn’t simply the infant’s response. It was that the teacher had asked him. She didn’t simply pick him up and begin feeding him. She took a moment to communicate with him and gave him the opportunity to respond. She treated him as someone who had something to say.
We often think of communication as something that begins when children start talking. We celebrate first words, eagerly wait for sentences, and measure language development by what children can say. But communication begins long before that first word. Infants communicate through their eyes, facial expressions, movements, gestures, and sounds. They turn away when they’ve had enough. They reach toward something that interests them. Their bodies become still when they’re listening, and they move with excitement when they recognize something familiar. They are constantly communicating, even when we don’t recognize it.
Think about how many things happen to an infant throughout the day. We pick them up, change their diapers, wipe their faces, dress them, and move them from one place to another. Often, we’re already thinking about what needs to happen next. These routines become so familiar that we sometimes forget to include the infant in what’s happening. But what if we slowed down? Before picking up an infant, we could tell them what we’re about to do and give them a moment to respond. During a diaper change, we could explain what’s happening and invite them to participate. When offering a bottle, we could ask, just as that teacher did. Of course, a six-month-old isn’t making decisions in the same way an older child would. But that doesn’t mean their responses are meaningless. When we consistently communicate with infants, we give them opportunities to anticipate what will happen, recognize familiar words and gestures, and participate in their own care. We also begin to see just how much they understand.
One of the things I find most interesting about working with infants is how differently adults sometimes treat them compared with older children. We wouldn’t ordinarily walk up to an adult, pick them up without warning, or begin wiping their face without saying anything. Yet with infants, these actions can become so routine that we don’t think twice about them. It’s not because we don’t care. It’s because we’re accustomed to seeing infants as completely dependent on us. And while they certainly depend on adults to meet their needs, dependence doesn’t mean they aren’t capable of participating.
An infant may not be able to tell us, “I’m ready for my bottle,” but they may recognize the question, respond to a familiar sign, or communicate their interest through their expression and movement. They may not be able to say, “I don’t like that,” but they can turn away, tense their bodies, or communicate discomfort. These are responses worth noticing and respecting.
I think about that teacher and infant often. There was nothing extraordinary happening. No elaborate activity, no special materials, no planned lesson. Just a teacher kneeling beside an infant, asking a question, and waiting for a response. Yet that moment represented something much bigger: a belief that even our youngest children deserve to be included in the things that happen to them.
We don’t have to wait until children can speak to begin having conversations with them. We simply have to recognize that they’re already communicating.
And sometimes, the most important thing we can do is give them time to answer.
Carrie Stull
Director of Early Childhood
Little Wings Early Learning Academy