Let Me Try: Why Independence Matters in Early Childhood

Young children are capable of so much more than we sometimes give them credit for. They want to participate, help, try, and do the things they see the adults and older children around them doing.

And when they accomplish something on their own, you can see how much it means to them. Whether it is putting on their own shoes, carrying their backpack, pouring their own water, or walking into the classroom instead of being carried, these seemingly small moments are a big deal to a young child.

Each one gives them an opportunity to think, “I did that myself.”

A Small Moment That Said a Lot

I remember supporting in a four-year-old classroom as the children were getting ready to go outside. One child was putting on their jacket, and without really thinking about it, I reached over and started to zip it for them.

They immediately stopped me and said, “I can do it myself.”

So I stopped and waited.

It took a little longer as they worked to get the zipper lined up, but they did it. The smile and pride on their face when they pulled that zipper all the way up said everything.

I could have zipped that jacket in two seconds. But if I had, I would have taken that moment away from them.

When Helping Becomes Too Much Help

As adults, we often do things for young children simply because it is faster. Mornings are busy. We have places to be. It’s much quicker to put on the shoes, carry the backpack, zip the coat, or carry a child into the classroom than it is to wait.

But when we consistently do things for children that they are capable of doing themselves, they miss opportunities to practice independence.

A child who can walk can walk into the classroom. A child can carry their own small backpack. A child who is learning to dress can be given the opportunity to try before an adult steps in.

Helping isn’t always doing something for a child. Sometimes helping means giving them the chance to do it themselves.

Independence Takes Time

Children are slower than adults. Shoes take longer. Zippers take longer. Walking from the car to the classroom takes longer. When children pour for themselves, sometimes they spill.

That’s part of learning.

Independence isn’t about expecting children to do everything on their own or refusing to help when they need it. It’s about giving them the time and opportunity to try before automatically stepping in.

The few extra minutes it takes today are helping a child become more confident and capable tomorrow.

Sometimes we just need to slow down, step back, and let them say, “I did it myself.”